you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
