come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
