My friends, they love my intelligence
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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