I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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