Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
