i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
