Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
