girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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