i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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