no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
