That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
