He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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