What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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