Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
40s are totally the cure
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
