Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
