Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The air taste purple.
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