i wish my penis had a tongue
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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