dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
