I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
