I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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