I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize