he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
