Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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