got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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