He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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