took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
