i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
