So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
