Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
