They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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