Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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