For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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