is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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