The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
