So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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