So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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