I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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