Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
