Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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