I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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