I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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