just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
