; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
