ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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