get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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