Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
