I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize