I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
