I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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