Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
