Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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