we're chasing vodka with high fives
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
