She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
