girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
