so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Princesses don't give blow jobs
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
