He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize