omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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