Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
