My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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